My 8-month-old loves bath time so much, she kicks her legs and squeals in delight, splashing water and bubbles all around, which, of course, only makes her happier.
It's a pure and joyous sight that my husband and I have come to cherish every other day. Shawn has actually skipped social events so as not to miss bath night. And I power through my most stressful workdays knowing my reward will be when I get to kneel by the tub, supervising my crazy kicker.
So that we can always look back and remember this happy time, I shot video of Gracie's bath a few weeks ago. After she went to bed, I downloaded the clip onto my laptop, edited it using simple movie software, then uploaded it as a private link on YouTube.
"You're not putting this up on the Internet, are you?" Shawn interrupted, seconds after I'd sent the link to our parents, siblings and a few close friends. "I don't want some sick pervert watching our baby girl."
At first, I laughed off Shawn's concern as him being a protective Papa Bear. But as our friends and relatives began to respond — and later as I began surveying co-workers with children — I realized that people tend to react one of two ways when it comes to babies without clothes.
Either you're like me, and you think, "Gushy, squooshy baby! Sooo cute!"
Or you're like my husband — and, interestingly, most of the men I polled — who wanted to throw a towel over Gracie's lower half and require a criminal background check from anyone with privy to the video.
So once again my husband and I find ourselves having to decide where we stand in this parenting adventure. With all the amazing technology at our disposal, how much can we capture on camera, then post, save and share online without putting our children in danger?
If this were up to Rich Wistocki, the answer would be not much at all — especially if your bundle of joy has no clothes on. Wistocki, a detective for the Naperville Police Department who specializes in cyber crimes, said he deals with arrests and search warrants for possible child pornographers 2 to 3 times a day.
"I would never put anything naked of a baby or young child online," Wistocki said, definitively. "Because people will use it for their own sexual gratification, unfortunately."
But, I argued, I sent the private link to my parents, Shawn's parents, and my best friend since the 4th grade! Believe me, I care about Gracie's safety more than anything in the world. But I also don't want to believe we're at the point when we need to start scrutinizing grandma and grandpa.
Maybe not, but you also can't control who might get access to even a private link, Wistocki countered, hypothesizing that one of my close relatives could proudly share the video with a co-worker, who might send it off to another friend and so on.
Wistocki, who owns a consulting firm on this subject and teaches classes about this, went on to warn that parents should be cautious about taking photos with their smart phones and posting them online. Something known as "exis" data on those photos allows strangers with the right software to find the exact latitude and longitude of where the picture was taken. The danger: A potential abductor could see a picture of your smiling child and also be led straight to your home address.
"In the age of technology you really have to be careful what you post," Wistocki said. "You can post, but just make sure those postings can't be misconstrued by people with other agendas."
After speaking with Wistocki, I felt both frustrated and fearful. I don't want to be paranoid about sharing my daughter's sweet face with the world. But I also don't want to take any chances on her safety just because I want to believe people are mostly good.
In my bewilderment, I turned to something I knew would cheer me up: Gracie's video in the bathtub. Watching it for what felt like the millionth time (but technically more like the 35th, according to YouTube views), I decided to add one more level of security by making it a private video.
Now, Shawn and I have the only email addresses approved to view it on the website.
But when an editor asked me if we wanted to share a photo of Gracie with this column, Shawn and I decided it couldn't hurt.
The important thing, we've concluded, is that even as proud parents, we remain mindful about images we share each and every time, making decisions on a case-by-case basis.
When we're talking about protecting a crinkly-nose smile like that, can you blame us?
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